So much of life spent running
As though it were a bad thing?
You recline in your wheelchair as you curse the walking
You think I don’t see the curl at the corners of your lips?
It’s quite perverse, to be honest
Two peas in a pod
I’m selfish because I walk alone
And you’re selfish so you slash my tires
“Welp, guess you’ll have to stay here another night.”
That’s where true evil lies
You clip wings, I only cut ties
But how much of your life was inevitable?
How much of this
Could I actually avoid?
I think of running and the skies open up
You have to be a certain type to know what that feels like
You have to be a certain type
Legs burning, lungs screaming
And through cries, you feel the need
To tear the very fabric of this world apart
Your pretty fingers curled ‘round darkness
Kneeling, it licks your hand
You feel alive
Life isn’t in a room
Life isn’t on a page
Life isn’t in your arms
Life is desire
I will run toward it – break my legs and I will crawl
You could never understand this
You have to be a certain type
I’m really infuriated. I know people have zero respect for African women and most people hate the fact that I am as talented and intelligent as I am, but if you like my songs but are shitty enough to not even pay 99 cents for it, you are truly evil. For the past 11 years I have been going through nothing but shit for this band. But you like my songs enough, so you steal it? I have had people even brag to me about it. Like, “I ripped your song from youtube! I listen to it every day!” Why would you do that? What kind of sick piece of shit are you? It’s like they want you to know that they don’t value what you do. What reaction do you want? Should I curse you out? Yell and scream? Sue you? No, I’ll just make a note that you are an asshole with no respect for my work and never talk to you again. I’ve had to think of other ways to promote myself because I can’t just rely on “If they like the song, they’ll buy it.” This is just so infuriating. I even remember when I put together a show in Berlin. It was in a store-front so there were windows and a door that led right on to the street. It was 3 euros to enter. Do you know that these German assholes blocked the ENTIRE SIDEWALK to watch me play in the FREEZING BERLIN WINTER rather than paying 3 euros to sit inside in the warmth and watch me play? They were that adamant that I didn’t get paid for my work. Only White people deserve to get paid. Everybody is entitled to all my hard work, effort and talent for free. I wanted to murder them. How disrespectful can you be? I still get assholes trying to get me to write songs for them and produce for free. Who the fuck do you think I am? Do you go up to exceptionally talented White guys and ask them to work for free? You don’t even go up to completely inept White guys and demand that shit.
I am really tired of this. I sacrificed my life for this band. My music is mine. If you like it, pay for it. If you don’t want to pay, don’t listen. Move on. I don’t care. This disrespect for me and my work has got to end. To steal from a band like mine… you’re literally evil. You love my songs, but don’t want me to benefit. Because you are so fucked up and hateful. Like, I don’t even know what kind of bizarro shit I have to deal with as an African woman. Like, people would come to my shows and then be rude to me or insult me at my own goddamn show. Or buy my cd but then be rude to me WHILE THEY ARE BUYING IT. I send out a booking email and the person responds…with insults to my music. Like, “I want her to play, but I have to let her know I don’t respect her and what she does, first.” FUCK THIS. It’s just wrong. If you don’t respect me or my work, or you’re jealous or resentful or racist or sexist or anti-African, YOU DON’T NEED TO BE LISTENING TO MY SHIT. I just hate all the inane shit I am forced to go through. There is NO WAY anyone White with my level of talent would be going through this shit. Just leave me alone. FUCK your games. FUCK your “tests”: (Oh, let me just be completely disingenuous and do this fucked up thing that there really is no reason to do, just to see how she “reacts” because I am a racist, sexist, coward piece of shit who likes to waste Black women’s time and I hate every Black woman that I do not feel superior to so I play passive-aggressive, manipulative mind-games in order to feel in control and dominant. Because I suck.) I am DONE. DON’T RIP MY SHIT. DON’T DOWNLOAD MY SHIT WITHOUT PAYING FOR IT. I am fucking tired of being disrespected. If you don’t pay for my music/videos, I don’t care if you like it. I’d rather you not listen. JUST IGNORE ME. Like I don’t deserve to get paid? My whole career I’ve been dealing with assholes who think that Black women don’t deserve to get paid, but will pay some useless White guy for completely subpar garbage. No, I am not “grateful” for the opportunity. You’re a fucking rapist. Fuck you.
“The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”
The Black Girl Version:
“The world will tell you who you are, and if you don’t know, you’ll believe them.”
I am a Black woman who has lived in both Korea and Japan and has Black female acquaintances who have lived long term in China. I am also aware of all the rampant anti-Blackness present in South Asian cultures and the casual acceptance of Anti-Blackness, EXTREME Colorism and White Supremacy present in most Asian cultures as a whole. Because of this, the
#NotYourMule Twitter hashtag is especially interesting to me.
I do support PoC supporting each other in general, but how quickly nBPoC (non-Black People of Color) attack Black people for not including them is quite telling, since most nBPoC uphold the White Supremacist racial hierarchy like it’s their job. NBPoC are seemingly oblivious to the fact that in perpetuating the belief that White people are on top and Black people are on the bottom, you also cement YOUR place within that racist structure as second or 3rd class citizens of Humanity. Anti-Black People of Color are tools in their own oppression. So how can you complain about Black people not checking for you when you so covet the embrace of the hand which its sole purpose is to hold you down- hold ALL OF US down, collectively, as non-White people?
The term WoC was INVENTED BY BLACK WOMEN as a way to be inclusive of EVERYONE in the fight against White Supremacy: https://youtu.be/82vl34mi4Iw
Living in Asia, the disrespect and suspicion I face from Asian people in general who literally gain nothing from putting me down and disrespecting who I am and where I come from is appalling and infuriating. Not to mention the racism I have faced from Asian-Americans and non-Black Latinos back in the US. Black people always try to be inclusive of people who have shown time and time again that they couldn’t give a flying shit about us. Hell, I left post-Grad courses I was taking at Seoul National University in S. Korea because I LITERALLY COULD NOT LIVE IN A COUNTRY THAT HATES BLACK PEOPLE THAT MUCH. Like, I couldn’t handle it. And I come from the US. You know, that country where it’s literally fucking legal to murder Black people and it was part of the constitution that we’re 3/5ths human?
There are some Asian, Latino, and Native American people who have supported
#BlackLivesMatter and #JusticeForFlint. But there is also #Justice4Liang and my experiences as a Black woman in Asia that literally make me want to bomb the world. I have had many Asian people tell me to my face that Black people are too “aggressive” in standing up to racism and we should pipe down because there is even less Asian visibility in America “and we don’t complain about it all the time.” I just don’t know where all this entitlement for Black support comes from when you know full and well most people in your cultural group would NEVER stand up for a pro-Black cause ever. YOU even harbor anti-Black sentiment yourself, yet you have the nerve to get mad and speak out about this imaginary Black conspiracy of nBPoC exclusion BEFORE you get mad at White People? Wtf? Black people don’t have any power! Black people don’t have shit! We have to deal with hatred and discrimination FROM LITERALLY THE ENTIRE WORLD.
Chris Rock’s sexist and Anti-Asian jokes were bullshit. Of course. And you should speak up against that. However, support, respect and solidarity should be MUTUAL, not something you crawl out of the corners of social media to DEMAND after staying quiet as Black blood runs in the streets and Black bodies and cultures are demeaned, exploited and degraded, not only in America, but in your countries as well. If ANY nBPoC went to an African country, you would NEVER be treated as horribly as Black people are treated in Latin America, the Middle East and Asia. So when you get equally as riled up about changing that, then you have a right to ask for Black solidarity. Until then, the load you carry is not ours to share. Black people are
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